Last week, the story below appeared in local media. There was such a customer outcry for the Happiest Chickens’ Eggs, Field of Greens’ proprietor, Ron Lawson has reopened his egg honor bar, complete with a Brand Ambassador, Jannet Olvera, ready to explain the various egg selections.
Honor Bar Closes
Daily, the volume of victims thrown into turmoil caused by the Targeted Holiday Hackathon increases. At last broadcast, the number surpassed 110 million people who had their credit information compromised.
I shop local. It makes life simpler. And safer. It supports the small guy. And, nobody hacks the corner store.
But, there are different culprits locally. Not bot developers sitting in darkened rooms creating steroid-styled software that enters without knocking and captures customer data. No, on the local level the thievery is different.
As previously written, we’ve moved the offices of Foodie Tout, Inc. from downtown Sonoma to our new campus located at The Field of Greens Egg Farm just west of town. The heart of the Epicurean Epicenter of the World, according to Field of Greens’ proprietor and Foodie Tout Director, Ron Lawson, the campus is also one of the most creative environments we’ve ever worked in.
Yesterday I was on the phone with a chap who is developing a very interesting wine bottle – more on this next week – while chatting he asked if I were near any vineyards. I explained our world headquarters were steps away from 2500 or so chickens, a dozen sheep nursing a few babies, some here, some on the way, a goat named Pepper, and a handful of canine who visit on occasion.
I went on to explain to the bottle foodtrepreneur, the ranch was home to Sonoma’s Happiest Chickens. They were free-will. That’s a bar up from cage free. Two up from free-range. These chickens have to think about their day. There are obstacles they must navigate, place in their pens for play. And challenge. Think about it – smart chickens, smart eggs. Great eggs. The best eggs in the five county area.
We get reports. We’re surrounded by smart chickens. Chicks talk.
Take the other day for instance, one of the smartest chicken, Normanda, actually scratched a license plate number in the dirt next to the fence post closest to the egg honor bar at the ranch.
Normanda is one of the guard chickens watching over the flock and the property during the day and early evening. Only on duty for the past six weeks, since the egg poachers increased visits, the security chicken flock has acquired – through some very interesting hidden camera technology- a few facial close ups. For all those poachers whose pictures were snapped when the cooler door was open, we should talk.
One incident in particular prompted the hidden camera. A sparkling Mercedes pulled up in front of the stainless honor bar cooler. Three women in the Benz, one stepped out. According to reports, she walked to the cooler, opened it, took more than one dozen eggs, didn’t place any money in the cash cup, even though the instructions were clear, and went to her car. When she got inside and started to pull away she was flagged down and questioned. She returned the eggs, claiming, “Who would pay $5.00 for eggs?”
If that appears strange happenstance for an egg farm in Sonoma, it’s trumped by the Calendar Bandit’s antics of leaving a nicely printed strip of paper with the date on it in lieu of payment. According to Normada – the chick who once hung out with the infamous, El Normando of Panetta Ranch Fame in Carmel Valley, the ranch only needs 22 more strips of that ridiculous piece of paper to make an entire calendar. Figure out those losses.
And finally, at the bottom of the last page of the lengthy chicken scratch looking report, presented to the farm’s security officer, there was a notation about a new type of currency for all those using the calendar strip for cash method. It’s called eggcoin. Many have heard of, and even purchased Bitcoin.
Egg coin is a bit simpler…put in coin, take out eggs. Put in Coin, Take out Eggs, how much simpler could that be?
At an impromptu press conference Saturday afternoon at The Field of Greens, Lawson was obviously agitated. “I understand if people are hungry. I’d gladly give them eggs. But there needs to be honor at an honor bar.” Lawson said adding, “Beginning next week, we are moving the honor bar up to the front building making it easier for everyone to buy our eggs.”
What is happening? Hacking large corporations credit card systems, hacking an honor bar, manually, in the middle of an egg ranch. Has the world and the community gone mad?
It appears so. For a great poached egg recipe check out the Field of Greens website.